Magical
I didn’t realise that being highly sensitive was my “superpower” until 2020.
Up until that point, I had a corporate career spanning over 20 years in construction, engineering and shipbuilding.
I’d been married more than once and been a “full-speed ahead” kind of girl, fitting in as much as possible and being as busy as I could be.
I didn’t even know there was a thing called being highly sensitive, and I certainly didn’t know that good things could come from it.
I had been working with my coach, Melinda Jacobs at Quantum Therapeutics, as some codependent behaviours had crept back to my present day. I was getting triggered more than usual, wasn’t managing the mundane well, indicating that childhood trauma wasn’t as cleared as I had once thought.
We were doing some intense cellular release therapy and after a session one day, she invited me to her class, “The Highly Sensitive’s Thriving Guide”. I said yes, and truthfully, I couldn’t quite understand why I was going to be there, until I was there.
Week by week, connecting on Zoom with highly sensitive people from around the world, it dawned on me that I had done myself a disservice.
For nearly 50 years I had been calling myself on one day of the week “a gifted insightful genius” to the next day, “a hot mess”.
What I learnt was that I am, in fact, highly sensitive, also known as an empath and often called sensitive. And that wasn’t always said as a compliment.
And I learnt that the days where I was a “hot mess” were in fact me not knowing how to manage myself, my energy and my emotions.
Slide one on the course read: “The highly sensitive person has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in his/her surroundings, and is more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment”. Elaine Aron
This made me sit up.
I have always called myself an introvert because I need to have solitude and alone time so that I can manage my central nervous system. And, when I am on my own, I can tap into energy and I feel both aligned and energised.
But then anyone who has met me would say that I am an extrovert, that I get my energy from my external surroundings and that I am confident, sociable and outgoing, and that I like being with people. This is also true.
“Being overwhelmed in a highly stimulating environment” hit a nerve, it was time to get to know myself.
Up on the screen went the list of the common traits of an Intuitive, I hid my tears and confusion. There were 24 bullet points and I identified with 22. How on earth could this be possible?
I remember sitting there in denial. I then convinced myself that these traits must apply to everyone, that I was the last to hear about them, and that these are in fact, the traits of being a human being.
I listened to the group over the coming weeks and ever so gently their stories and struggles tenderly woke me up.
I was surrounded by creative, animal-loving, truth-seeking gifted intuitives, each with an incredible gift. There were extraordinary stories of how their sensitivity enabled them to just know stuff. Melinda’s story in itself is incredible, of how one night she sensed the energy in a cinema complex change so she left, only to hear a few hours later how a gunman had opened fire in the foyer killing and injuring many.
Story after story of incredibly talented and brilliant people going about their daily business with this hidden superpower of being Highly Sensitive. And their struggles.
There are known causes of “energetic sensitivity” and as we explored them, for me it was childhood trauma.
The mirror had been held up and I saw myself, possibly for the first time, and I have got to tell you, it was painful.
I listened to stories of the addictive personality, the struggle with clutter, the overwhelm in public places. And I listened to the side effects. `Feeling anxious, difficulty fitting in… oh my, now the penny was dropping.
We are highly sensitive, so without the right tools, our lives were really hard to navigate. Without the tools, we were always going to be “hot mess central”.
I had kept myself busy for nearly 50 years because I didn’t know how to manage my energy.
Boom! My world blew up and now I had to unlearn everything that I had learnt and relearn it and with hindsight, I thank myself every week for persevering.
There was relief that there was a way forward, it was like coming home.
For a long while, it felt impossible to live the magical life that the course had suggested.
But a year or so on, I could confirm she was right, it was possible. As I began to truly get to know myself, I found moments of being centred and anchored and had a deep knowing that my future was going to be more than magical.
The tools Melinda taught us were/are incredible and I use them every week to manage myself and my energy.
I know myself from the crowd.
And I recognise the inspired genius in me.
What came next was the beginning of my awakening.
I stopped being so busy, it took a while, a lot of walking, and talking with friends. That is a story in itself. I began the process of unpacking my stuff and I still am.
I recognise that I am a lifelong learner, so that means having conscious awareness, tending to my energy and dealing with things in a healthy way when they arise. Because life will always have matters arising.
As I noticed my energy, aka vibration, I began to trust it.
I could sense which things in my life that were out of my alignment, which included my business at the time. There were some tough calls and more to come I suspect, but what a gift it is to be tuned into my navigation system.
And then the promise of a magical life began to manifest.
My soul found ways to speak to me. I paid attention to what I was drawn to, even though some of those things appeared to be 10 kinds of crazy.
Source wanted me to wake up and had given me Melinda, what a blessing she is and is now a treasured close friend.
And thank goodness Source found a way to get my attention, because of course a magical life is possible, for all of us.